Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
