So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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