Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I need a beard to bite.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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