turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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