I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
