and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
