a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need to sanitize my soul.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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