Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
