My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
