covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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