I bet he comes in French.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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