I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
