dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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