Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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