Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
