He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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