How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
