i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
