Who wears a wallet chain?!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
