It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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