3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
