Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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