I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
