fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
