Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
