do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
