you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
