physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
my being single is dangerous.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
