1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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