she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
