I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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