Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
