Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I met the friendliest cop last night
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
