Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
