I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she looked like the before picture.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
