i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she told me i tasted like america
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
