My liver just broke up with me...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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