ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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