everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
