She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
