She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
