Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm too high and old for this...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
