Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
