I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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