Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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