So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
