As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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