If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Life is so much better after having sex.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
