I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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