he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
