My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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