god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
