I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
